Aunt bakes cake for 8-year-old niece every birthday, protests when family uses it as smash cake for six years in a row: 'Not only am I not making the cake, I'm not going to the birthday party either'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 8, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Just like any hobby that involves creating something, baking is great as it allows you to share the products of your passion with the people that you know and love. Having people enjoy the treats that you make can be just as rewarding as the process of making them, if not more so in some cases. Being able to bring happiness like that to others with a skill that you have is one of life's simple pleasures.

By the same token, it is very easy for this kind of thing to be exploited or taken for granted. It can really sting to feel like somebody is using a beloved hobby against you, but it does happen—even with those who should appreciate it most. Being able to bake is a wonderful talent, but it has to be used wisely when you are surrounded by people who are liable to mishandle it. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10477124864
    via TiAchen Aier

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is the conclusion that one woman came to after she grew tired of how her family was treating the birthday cakes that she baked for her niece. For all her life, she had made her a birthday cake that her sister paid for, but for most of these birthdays, it had been used as a ‘smash cake’ where cake was pushed into the face of the birthday girl. 

    The final straw was her seventh birthday, when the cake was smashed and then thrown away without anybody eating any of it. The aunt decided she wasn't baking for her family any more, and they got offended. She wasn't sure if she had been too harsh.

  • 02
    AskAubry 130 @ask_aubry As someone who loves to bake elaborate birthday cakes for friends and family, F this BS.
    via ask_aubry
  • 03
    r/AITA WIBTA_PUBLIC u/Fast-Yogurtcloset264.2h Join AITA? I always make cakes for my niece's birthday, this year I stayed at home Since my niece (8) was born, I've always been asked to make a cake for her birthday. The first year went good, but in the second year something happened and started a "tradition" that I hate. The smash cake in face thing. The first time it was even funny, I can't deny that. The timing was perfect and we had plenty of other food too. No one was hurt, the cake landed on
    via ask_aubry
  • 04
    This year I had had enough. I said I wouldn't make a cake. My sister tried to convince me for weeks, sending me pictures with ideas for this year, but I kept saying no. I finally got ped off and said that not only I not making the cake, but I'm not going to the birthday party either. I gave my niece a present a month before her birthday and every time someone asked me I said "I'm not going". Well, they still didn't believe me. The party was on March 1st and from what I know from my cousin, every
    via ask_aubry
  • 05
    The Road Jess Travelled @JessPected Replying to @ask_aubry My SIL makes the most elaborate, gorgeous cakes. I can't imagine trashing them. Disrespect aside, they also sound obnoxious. I wouldn't want to attend either.
    via JessPected
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    Melindi Scott @melindiscott Replying to @ask_aubry I'm totally on her side
    via melindiscott
  • 07
    Metal Nana @Inadvertantview Replying to @ask_aubry No good deed goes unpunished.
    via Inadvertantview
  • 08
    Taxcollector Phaedra @PhaedraGoddess Replying to @ask_aubry If they want to smash a cake in someone's face, why not use a cheap storebought one for that? Sure they pay for her homemade special cake, but I'd be sad as well if they'd waste it like that year after year— while promising they wouldn't do it this time. I would've stopped baking a long while ago. It's not fun to be disrespected like that, and see yoir hard work get destroyed. They can fix their own cake.
    via PhaedraGoddess
  • 09
    Akiesha @MsCullen Nase Replying to @ask_aubry Nah I understand her being upset. She spends HOURS making, decorating etc just for it to go in the trash? Just pay a bakery for a cake if that's what you wanna do cuz they won't see what a waste their hard work was...and even if they did see, they'd still be upset as well.
    via MsCullenNase
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    Romeo McFlourish @qzar9999 Replying to @ask_aubry Like... it might even be *tolerable* if they'd at least EAT the cake afterwards. But throwing it away without bothering to eat it is just flatly insulting her hard work.
    via qzar9999
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    Carina @Carina_Amyth Replying to @ask_aubry Who wants to spend hours making a really nice cake, just for it to be smashed up and tossed out. Nope. She's not the AH.
    via Carina_Amyth
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    Renzler ❤ @MrRenzler Replying to @ask_aubry Your sister is an entitled brat and she's using you. NTA. You spend time and money on your cakes and take pride in the result. Their response is to waste it like morons. F those .They deserve grocery-store cakes.
    via MrRenzler
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    NetherWitch @NetherWitch Replying to @ask_aubry I'm guessing the "they waited for two hours" thing was hyperbole to make her feel bad. But the fact that they even assumed she would be there with a cake at all after she repeatedly said she wouldn't be really illustrates how much they see her as nothing but a doormat.
    via NetherWitch
  • 14
    Sarah Beland @IAmWhoNow Replying to @ask_aubry If she returns to making a cake for her niece, make an oversized cupcake... less time, less ingredients, less likely to be shoved in a face and then thrown out (might actually get eaten).... Still heart breaking... such a waste...I would be ped off too NTA
    via IAmWhoNow
  • 15
    Stephanie Meidas... @Islandgirlpixie Replying to @ask_aubry I don't think her family understands the concept of the "smash cake." It's traditionally only for the FIRST birthday & it's a small simple "throwaway” cake w/the large, nicely decorated cake being actually eaten by guests. I'm a baker & have made many such cakes over the years.
    via Islandgirlpixie
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    LearningToFly @DownRunnin Replying to @ask_aubry I would also check in with the niece to see if she even likes this "fun game"
    via DownRunnin
  • 17
    SCRobinson @ShaRob86 Replying to @ask_aubry I'd be pretty frustrated at having my cake destroyed and tossed for 6yrs in a row (assuming it was her 8th bday that was skipped)... s■ks for the niece, but mom is the one to blame.
    via ShaRob86
  • 18
    Peter@gahning Replying to @ask_aubry Make the next cake out of plaster, boom (literally), and the tradition is over.
    via gahning
  • 19
    Spoken Thoughts @cigw_py Bakeries have the "we have the right to refuse service to anyone" sign for a reason.
    via cigw_py
  • 20
    Soorii @PchiSoorii What kind of a hole worries about a cake when their niece is being physically humiliated every birthday. F those people.
    via PchiSoorii
  • 21
    Laura the baker @bakergirl218 As someone who actually has their degree in baking and pastry arts, I concur. Eff this BS. A smash cake is completely different than a themed birthday cake. Not a chance in the world the OP was fully compensated for the cost of her time and effort into making these cakes.
    via bakergirl218

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cake aita niece aunt birthday cake sister reddit thread Reddit entitled people
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